Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Don't Complicate Your Life

Recall the movie - Jab We Met. The hero was a gone case , he was lost - no aim in life , perceived his life so complicated that nothing could be done. In the second half of the movie, his personality was completely changed
and he starts resolving issues just like a kids play. Why should we also complicate our life ? Can't we be simple problem solvers , in a nut shell - सुलझा हुआ इंसान.

Symptoms of the complications could be something like this - you get confused while making a decision , you spend lot of time in thinking as what to do and still not confident on the action that you yourself decided. You are confused , try to linger-on, feels lazy in doing work , try to find excuse for everything at first, you procrastinate. When you go for shopping with your family , you get confused in buying things and shop those things more that were not at all in your list , then later you regret. In work life, have you made decisions with a lot of hesitation?

I have seen many such people in my career who created a big issue for even a small thing.They would constantly raise it in meetings even if the solution has been given or solutions is very quick and straight forward, will make lots of noise all around and would go in series of followups in the name of resolving that issue. Simpler things are projected as the most complex ones and the story continues. The benefit is that they enjoy a longer work free period in the office and get more personal time. Also, when they complete the so called complex work, they can project themselves as hero and would gain some limelight. 

Everyone of us including work and family seniors n juniors must have gone through these stages or may be experiencing it. 

While my stay in USA, I observed closely one of my senior, the way she handled her home and work life was awesome.Every bit of time was important for her, she never thought of postponing work for tomorrow , in fact she did complete the work immediately, be it office related or home related. She was so active using every bit of her time constructively always that she had no piled-up work for her resulting into no stress , no tension and simplified life.
Since she had one thing at a time to focus on , she was able to take accurate decisions quickly.I applied the same principle in my organization, people were fighting over one of the issue that who is responsible for it and as usual trying to put the ball into others court , I watched for sometime , and then I said, OK stop fighting, I will do it. Everyone was surprisingly happy specially my boss , the fight ends here. 

It is on us to make our life simple or complicated. Keep things simple and small as much as possible. Spent time with your family and appreciate their presence in your life , you will feel the difference.

So much of life is not in our control…the weather, sickness, traffic, etc.  I get that.  However there are many things that we have going on in our lives that we are allowing to happen even though we don’t have the time, space, money or energy for them.  Why do we do this? 

We buy stuff and then complain about all the clutter in our homes. We drag our kids from activity to activity and complain about how tired everyone is and how no one cooperates.We eat out a couple of times a week and then complain about how we can never lose weight. We buy stuff for our homes, eat meals out and enroll our kids in expensive activities and then complain we are in debt. We say yes to way too many ministries or activities and then complain we are never home for our families.We plant a garden and then complain that we have no time for it or that no one helps weed it. We buy a treadmill and then complain we don’t have the energy to use it. We plan elaborate dinner parties and then complain about how much work it is. We spend time with friends on a daily basis only to complain to them about how we don’t have time to organize our homes. We menu plan a week’s worth of time consuming recipes that we can’t get to and then complain that menu planning doesn't work for us.
Are we complaining just for the sake of complaining or do we really want to make a change?  Either way let’s stop complaining.  Either decide you aren't  going to do something about it and move on OR decide that this is the time for change.  Negativity isn't good for anyone.

Having a garden could be something that you find totally relaxing and enjoyable but if you are 9 months pregnant, perhaps this isn't your year to put one in.Having people over for dinner might be something you are keen to do but if all the work frustrates you then change it up and go potluck style instead.If living in a cluttered home drives you crazy then maybe it’s time to make a small change that propels you to a less chaotic life.

Life is complicated enough without us having to make it anymore so. Are you complicating life unnecessarily?  What one thing can you change TODAY to stop that?

Pay attention to the things in your life that leave you stressed and frustrated and figure out why.  Drill it down.  What kind of positive change can you make, even if it’s a hard one, so that you aren't living with nothing but negativity day in and day out.

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Perception & Prejudice

Perception is individualistic by nature. When one doesn't know others, one makes a fictitious image based on the produced and gathered information from various sources, one doesn't really know how authentic those information are, still its human nature to associate a face with the words. You may have got chance to meet a person and the way the person behaved under that time's prevailing circumstances, you typecast him or her either good or bad ,  Later , you realized that it was too early to form a perception about him or her. Sometimes, people become so judgmental that they start giving their verdict on the person knowingly or unknowingly framing the target according to their convenience. Static perception also generates prejudice and a resident fear about each other that becomes a big hindrance in amalgamation.

Let's take an example from our day to day life then we will generalize it for a corporate team - Consider a family where a daughter-in-law does complain about her mother-in-law and vice versa. Each of them generally have framed the other in a specific way and that perception never goes away , despite the circumstances would have changed well. Both of them probably spend hardly one week together in a year , very less chance to know each other, but they generally become judgmental with their limited knowledge and know-how about each other , produce verdicts and start predicting other's behavior in a given situation (prejudice). The resident fear inside them build's wall between them that continues to grow.

In corporate world, the main problem in building a good team is the resident static perception about each other , prejudice and being judgmental about others. Personality is largely determined by the person's history ,past life ,  family background , education , aspirations and social ecology.Once you know these details , you can easily co-relate the behavior of the person and also predict the person's behavior in different circumstances.This is the reason why corporate worlds are full of liquid party nights. My personal experience is that if you spent quality time in knowing each other better in these party, have lunch together in the office premise, have coffee break together , you start building good personal relationships with your colleagues, it ultimately helps a lot in the professional career.

We all are Human beings and by property we all have multiple disorder within us like hatred , Jealousy ,  sorrow, anger  etc. These disorders also play very important role when we form a perception and become judgmental . Let's be aware of it and control ourselves, Let's understand the change dynamics - only change is constant with time. Let us be more careful before forming a perception and let there be room to accept change resulting in a dynamic rolling perception. Let us give another chance to ourselves to start the next inning afresh without any prejudice. Let us promise with our soul to become a good human , a good life will automatically follow.

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Right First Time

Why people don't do right thing when they are exposed to a problem very first time (It doesn't apply to all but yes a good number of people fall in this category , so beware of such people ) -  I did a survey in one of my previous organizations , and the responses I got are listed below:

1) Boss will not understand the pain I went through since everything was done right first time.
2) Boss may think that this was easy to do so I will miss appreciation.
3) Boss may give more work to me if I do everything right , its a penalty for me.
4) Let the things go wrong first time, let them escalate and become critical, then I will jump in , solve it and become hero. I and my friend do it for each other.

In my survey , I found very few people responding positively that if they do things right first time,  they will be called more efficient , trustworthy and valuable to the organisation, though they also complained about missing appreciation. 

Right First Time is attitude ,Its Commitment,  Its Prevention , Preventing Misunderstanding, Preventing non adherence of process , Preventing opportunities of error etc.

Now think about the below scenarios:

a. What if we got our salary credited as 5000/- while it should be 50000/-. (A minor mistake of omission of one zero). [ After all accountant also thought of coming in limelight ] 
b. Would we expect a hospital to deviate and inject wrong medicines to our family members? [ Doctors also have all rights to deny Right First Time ]
c. Would we expect a car mechanic to come every time we have to fill petrol in our car? 

Moral - Get rid of double standards , Do the things Right , right first time. 

Enjoy the below short video from you tube on the subject. Mobile Users CLICK HERE TO WATCH VIDEO.

Now, you are aware what you are doing !!

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

I Will Appreciate Others

How do you feel when your colleague comes to your desk and says it loudly - "You did a good Job" buddy. You know that it may not necessarily convert into monetary benefit , still you feel valuable and probably will return the same compliment to him at appropriate time. When your organization recognizes you for your work , when your manager appreciates you in a large meeting, when you are recognized at home for making a good dish , how do you feel ? Surely the words of appreciation once spoken , bring lots of positive energy both sides.

Then what is stopping you from appreciating others ?  The mindset is the main stopper in appreciating others :

-  He/She may get advantage like monetary benefits , I will be left behind in appraisals.
-  How can I accept that the other person is doing better than me , after all I am the best, no one else can go past me.
-  I never got appreciation for my good work, so how can I appreciate others.
-  What appreciation, Its part of the job, that's what they are paid for.
-  He/She will become more respectful than me.

I did an experiment on Appreciation to know how does appreciating others bounces back on me and how does the team behaves with me. I chose my team , every Thursday  I appreciated 2 colleagues for their work in front of the whole group including the director, giving specific reason as why I wanted to give a thumbs up to them even for the work that was part of their job.If I took help from other team, I ensured that the person was recognized in front of his manager and the group. I continued this practice for 2 months. I observed 3 main behaviors from the team :

1) Most of the people (approx 80%)  whom I appreciated felt great and they became my good friend. They probably felt favored and today I can get any work done from them on priority any time , whatever their priorities be. They started spreading good words about me, I was surprised when I got the same feed back from my boss. My boss continued noticing that I was spreading positive energy in the team.
2) A few (approx 10%) returned me the appreciation in front of the group by appreciating me.
3) Remaining (10%) were those who were reluctant and kept mum , probably they are still in surprise state of mind.

You yourself can interpret the above results,who was the ultimate gainer.

I have seen people appreciating in isolation in a closed room ,while when its time to pull legs , its an open war. Its a blunder. Refrain yourself from such practice. You will surely make lots of enemies. Remember, appreciation , to be meaningful , should happen open-hearted and always in public , however feedback should be given one-on-one , in a closed room.

So what are you waiting for , Try this today : Appreciate your wife for the food she prepared , Appreciate your husband for executing his responsibilities well, Appreciate your kid just like that  and feel the difference. Appreciate your colleagues for their good work in front of the team and see them transforming into your friends, after all , who doesn't want to be appreciated in this world. 

Suns Moons and Stars

Have you  been part of those Boring Business Meetings where half of the people don't speak , probably they are not even listening or they are not interested ,speaker failed to create interest in them , they are kind of sleeping. They don't even bother what decision is being made and how will it impact them, they are always in acceptance mode - " I am not interested in your diplomatic logic, just let me know what needs to be done , I will do it".They may have better ideas , suggestions but most of the SUN ( who speaks a lot in the meetings) and MOONS ( ready to capture speaking slots left behind by SUN's) in the meeting already hijacked the meeting and consumed all the time.

A conscious effort to engage the STARS (who generally keeps mum during meetings) actively is a must, my experience is that such people have great ideas , they are shut just because they are not getting chance from the so called Suns and Moons. Ask them - " Mr X , What do you think about this proposal ? What would you suggest ? ". After all , you will loose a person from the discussion if you failed to create interest in the audience , Its all your choice , always keep some magical words floating all around. I have seen people saying after meetings - Oh he doesn't take interest in the meetings, he is generally slept in meetings, he doesn't participate in meetings. I would say, instead of talking in absence, they could have encouraged the person to come up with their thoughts in the meeting it self. So whenever you are hosting a meeting, keep the SUN,MOON and STARS theory in mind.

Take a look at this you tube video that tells 6 secrets of organizing effective meetings.

Monday, 4 November 2013

Change the Word Change the World

Have you seen your colleagues communicating failure information in a very positive manner with a carefully chosen set of words that kind of justifies the miss very diplomatically. Yes , that is the art. It takes some time to adopt that , but it can surely be done. No one want's to listen that - " This can't be done , this is not working , this has created a mess etc.." , instead put them in other words - " Let me do some research and I shall get back to you with facts, It is working fine for 80% cases , for rest of the cases work is in progress, This is a new thing that organization has adopted , employees are getting accustomed for this very fast - Currently we are going through the transitioning phase."   Think about it and try relating it to your work.

It is well said that "Listen more, Speak less". Speaking right is really very difficult. It requires lot of effort in choosing right words. Then the right words have to be in right order to make an effective meaningful sentence. Words are the most powerful weapon , use them carefully.They can make you and break you depending upon how you use. Think before you speak for about 6 seconds, this is the time when your brain will complete the processing of information and can put it in better words.

What you have communicated depends on how listener interprets it. It's speaker's responsibility to ensure that the listener interprets what speaker wanted to communicate exactly with the same intensity. It may create Hell or Heaven if Interpretation went wrong. An example -  You wanted to actually praise your wife ,  feeling romantic today , and spoke "You are looking Gorgeous today". Contrary to your expectation  you got the response from your better half - " Are you teasing me ? Didn't you look at me before , was I not looking good another day ?" . Oh god, you screwed up your evening. 

Look at the below famous video or click here

Take a look at the below Video for simple 15 powerful words or click here :

So , get ready and start using the most powerful words. 

Respect Who You Are.

"I don't have the ability to do it. I haven't worked on it, I am not experienced enough to take up this task.My colleague is more smart and skillful than me , they have several degree and certifications , I am poor , I come from a village background, the other lady is more beautiful than me, bla bla bla ...".Do you feel intimidated ?  When you speak , your voice goes very low, you hesitate in making eye contact with your audience, you try to keep yourself shut as much as possible, you have a fear in speaking since you feel that your voice will not be heard and you may be making mistakes in your speech ...". If you are one of them , this article is for you. 

Most of the people feel intimidated because they are habitual to celebrate others. They have been brought up in the society where they have lost self esteem and confidence. From the very beginning  they are hearing that Other person is Better than them. From the school days , they started hearing that the other boy is getting more marks , they are not, the other comes from a rich family, they are not, The other is influential , they are not , and so on..

Do you think queen of England is most beautiful ? Is she most Rich ? Is she most intellectual in the world or is she most influential in the world ? Neither she is Miss worlds , not she is Bill gates. She is neither a noble winner scientist nor Barack Obama. But she knows what she is. What if she would have come to the ceremony where she has all the great people as her guests and she feels intimidated talking in low voice, keeping her head down, avoiding eye contacts, hesitating in shaking hand ! What will be the image of England ? Does she do that - NO. She knows, she represents the nation, she has been given the honor to do so. The same way, you have been given the honor by the almighty god to do what you are doing. If you fail to do so , will you be able to justify your act to the god? Feel the greatness of your work that you do , never loose self-confidence and self-esteem.

"Fear to fail" is what you have to kick away from your life.if a person does not make mistake, either he is not doing anything or he is a god. Each invention is a baby of a series of failure, an example is the PSLV.

Love yourself, be proud of who you are, be confident, step out of your comfort
zone ... and you will see miracles happening.Don't downplay your ability ,don't underestimate your self. Keep your head high. If you don't have confidence in yourself, how will others have it on you? Don't be intimidated, Sell yourself high, Let the others know that you have enormous amount of potential.You are the god's creation. You have specific specialties that other's don't. Feel like a king and live a big life , You will certainly become what you pretend to be.

Look at the below video how he explains the importance of self confidence  - Its up to you,  Be what you want to be.

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

I Am A Champion

You joined an organisation newly. Few of your colleagues  helped you in settling down easily. You started joining them over tea breaks. Slowly, they started telling you the fabricated stories (mixed with chatpata masala) about the organization , started creating fear about your boss who is bad in their eyes by telling some framed stories , the losses the company is making, the vampire nature of other colleagues, projecting one of your colleague to be the master of everything etc etc... Over a period of time you kept listening to them and gosh... you started feeling - "Oh man where the hell I am trapped , I am sorry my previous organization - please call me back".  

 Can you relate yourself with the above story ? Does similar thing happened with you in your family as well? Did you face similar situation while you were a student , Your seniors posed themselves highly frustrated person in front of you and you got upset ? 

There is a lot of negativity around the world. World is full of frustrated and pessimistic people. Since they are in abundance, they don't want a positive man to come over. They would always try to frustrate you , induce negative thoughts in you .Their goal is to obstruct your growth since they are jealous about your personality , skills and traits.These people often come in your life as your well wishers, they pose themselves to be your best friend and slowly but steadily they keep injecting poison of negative thoughts in you. 

Since you were not basically a bad man , you get upset of these talks.You came in with lots of positive energy and with a zeal to bring positive change , now you find yourself in a big dark hole with no sign of light. Slowly you get adjusted in the environment and you also start enjoying spreading those negative vibes that you got in from others , after all If I can't do it, I will never let anyone else do it" right ? 

The grape wine communication mixes some "Masala"  to the negative vibes turning them to be disastrous for yourself and for the organization or family.  

Beware of such people , they are all around. Keeping yourself away from them is the best way to deal with them. Let them maintain their own thoughts and you maintain yours. You are a champion, say it aloud , I am a champion , I will never let myself down. My dictionary doesn't understand back biting. I know only crushing the fools and owls. I am full of positive energy. God has chosen me to spread the light among those poor people. I am a champion.

Watch the below video clip - the best ever motivational speech. 

Have a great Life you champion !!

Saturday, 26 October 2013

I Will Not Blame Others

Well, Blaming others for a screwed up result is the simplest thing a person can do. How many times it has happened with you that when your project got screwed up, you tried finding an escape-goat blaming him for all the bad things , however if project was successful you yourself came forward with your broad chest , "it happened due to me only"?

You want to take credit for all the success gained by your team , however when its no good time , you escape putting someone else neck under the sword.

You wanted to achieve something but couldn't. How many times have you blamed the circumstances for such failures ? I have seen people blaming their environments, their schooling, education system, political system, Market conditions, lack of opportunities, Reservation system, Scaling in UPSC exams, Corruption .. "you name it and they have a ready excuse for it". Did you really tried hard putting your best with full honesty ? Think !!

The blame game is a common human nature but only for them who doesn't have sense of accountability and are generally victims. It also starts when your Job is at stake , when you know that this will hit negatively on your bonus/increment. 

Look out for the instances of blame game in your home. If your son doesn't perform well , what do you say to your wife (or vice-versa)- " Its because he is copying you" , but if he performs well - " After all he is my son ".The way kids see us today , will behave tomorrow and hence the show will go on. 

How many times you blame government for not doing this not doing that etc..
Did you ever appreciated them for something they were able to do? When it is time to Vote, do you go to choose the right government?

Can't we stop blaming others, instead introspect and retrospect the process to find out root cause and ensure we do not repeat the same mistake again. Don't ever try to find the escape-goat. Let their be some room to improve processes. We are all human being, we are born to learn from our mistakes.

Accepting mistake makes your image liberal in the organization. Leadership knows you for accepting accountability. Hence you may get more important assignments in future. Your team gets motivation to do better in future , after all they are also human being and each one internally knows who did what that contributed in failure. Team's conscience will not allow them to continue with all failures as they also understand the repercussions. 

When its all success , let the team take the credit , say it loudly - "We did it well" but when its failure , don't hesitate in accepting that - "I am accountable for this". 

Its a paradigm shift once you understand when to use "I" and when to use "We". My personal experience is - No one got fired till day because he accepted the responsibility of failure. Yes, those who argued well and created multiple reasons to put a sugar coated explanation were removed, After all each organisation wants to stop the spread of negative vibes.

It requires a big heart to accept the defeat than passing on the ball to other's court.

So , what do you say , try exercising it and see the positive energy flowing all around you. You will make a good team , good friends and you yourself will become a good person.

I will conclude with the below inspirational video clip :

Only cowards blame each other , powerful man accepts accountability

Do Not Speak About Absent

You are out for a dinner in a group. The dinner is going on and suddenly someone in your group gets a call from home and he has to leave dinner party in between. Knowing that the person has left , someone from your group starts talking bad about him. You also join the league , after all its human tendency , you don't want to miss the fun behind gossips and back biting.

Then suddenly , you also got the call from your wife and you have to leave the party. What will you think - Will you be able to trust the group that they will not speak bad about you once you are gone.

Trust among each other is at stake once you are indulged in such gossips and back biting. In corporate world, most of such talks are about the Boss and the organization. People find common interest and lot of matter to speak when the object is boss. They tend to forget that someday they will also be sitting on the same chair. 

Capability of backbiting is given to you by birth , But think, is it really required to prove your ability to exercise this capability?

Tattle is a common problem in real life and it stops you from trusting others and you also loose trust of others.Is it so hard to stop ourselves from indulging in such gossips? Try yourself and if someone else doesn't exercise it, stop him as well.

In day-to-day life , have you seen a group of females who tend to criticize some one absent from the group, be it mother-in-law , daughter-in-law , friend, or anyone else ?

Remember , someday your position will also change and then you will also be target of such petty gossips. Let's stop doing this nonsense. We have many things to talk about - Constructive and Progressive. I can suggest few things - talk about each other , know them better , talk processes and improvements, talk cricket, movie,food, shopping, malls, temples, cars,music,theater, real estate, insurance, banking, shares, economies, world geography,society, culture,jokes etc..There is a lot more to talk about other than the absent.

Take a look at this funny yet inspirational video :

Don't backbite - from Islam

I M Possible

Nothing is Impossible in this world. Even the word Impossible says I am Possible. Something looks Impossible to you because you didn't get chance to do it till now and this is your first time you are doing it. If you can't do it , probably no one can do it in the world. Then why should you worry ? Why not attempt it with your best?

Give it a try with full honesty , do your Karma with the grace of god , the results will definitely follow. What if you never gave a try to drive bicycle ? Did you know riding it since you were born ? Wasn't that impossible for you in those early days ? There would be several things that you learnt from the life over a period of time and experience. All those things that were impossible at certain time, are being now exercised by you regularly.Think about it , what would have your world today if you wouldn't have given a try that time. We wouldn't have been watching live telecast of indo-pak cricket match if those engineers would have bowed down. You are using smart phones, microwave,HD Tv , DTH , a long list. Look at the success of AAP today, wasn't it looked impossible few months ago ?

If you have courage to do it , you will succeed. The world impossible comes only in cowards dictionary , the braves use a different word - Opportunity.

Exercise it in your daily habit and feel the positive energy in your blood. Friends , let's take this resolution in the new year - Yes , Its possible.

A very happy new year to you all !!